3 days in
Wow. I been 25 for 3 days now. I feel old as hell. On my birthday, I got so many old jokes sent to my inbox, I wanted to cry. How could you people be so cruel?! Do you know what it's like to just wake up one day and realize that your age rounds to 30? And that 30 rounds to 50? And that 50 rounds to 100, and that 100 means you're probably dead?! C'mon people, a little sympathy okay?
So to celebrate my birthday, I had a party on Friday. It was great and I had so much fun! Until I checked my bank account the day after and realized that I used up a bunch money out of my savings, so now I gotta hit the corner of Nostrand to get it all back :) Joy! But it was great. This was the mood of the night:
Yea, I was a little intoxicated :)
Then I had a brunch on the actual day of my birthday, August 7th, the greatest day ever because a Young Gawd was born. I felt mad cute or wudevuh.
You know what else I realized after my birthday weekend? Quite a few of my "friends" were not there, at neither my party nor my brunch. Friends that promised me they would be, friends that I thought I was so close with, that they would even be there to help me clean up after the party. A few of these friends did not show up at all. No call, no text, nada. Wanna know what else? Some of 'em didn't even wish me a happy birthday. *rubs chin*
QuarterLife Epiphany #1- Real friends, how many of us?
I feel like I'm at a stage in my life where I don't really need a whole squad of friends or "bad bitches" to hang out with. I like my circle small, tight, and solid. The people that I call my "friends" have to be people who I never have to question. Now, I'm not saying I'm the perfect friend. Some people even call me "Flop Queen" because I don't like to go out and get drunk all the time. But when it's important, like milestone birthdays, baby showers, celebrations, I'm always there. But what's important to you isn't important to everyone. The sooner we realize that, the better. Also, something a lot of us do is focus on who didn't show up, rather than appreciating the people that actually DID come through for you. So to everyone that came out to help me celebrate another year of life, I sincerely and truly thank you. You made this one of the most special birthdays ever <3
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Something else I've been reflecting on is *drumroll please* relationships.
I was in a long, unhealthy relationship that I had to (finally) exit a few months ago. It's really crazy how you can think you're going to be with someone forever, to realizing how much they really are not for you and how fast and far you need to RUN. While it wasn't all bad, most of it was. So all I can do from that situation is take the lessons from it. I learned SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much about myself from that situation. I learned my likes, dislikes, the really amazing things about myself, the really terrible things about myself, what I really need from a guy for a relationship to work, what red flags should not be overlooked, I could go on for days. But I think the most important thing I gained from that was the knowledge of my self worth. Certain things that I used to constantly forgive, can NEVER fly again. Many situations in which i acted out of my character, will never occur again. I was nuts. The moment I had to create fake numbers to text homeboy pretending to be another girl to see if he would give them play, was the moment I should have picked my head up and walked away. But hey, we live and we learn right?
QuarterLife Epiphany #2- Letting go of shitty situations bring blessings into your life that you've been blocking.
Speaking of blessings, there's this guy...
Chilllllll, I'm not gonna tell you EVERYTHING all in one post. But just know, he has made this transition to grown-folkism an amazing one.
I have soooo much to say about so many different things, but we're gonna mack out real quick. This is basically my diary right? So you'll be hearing from me quite often ;)
Caio.
